There are times in our Christian life that we need to separate from people in our lives in order to be a more fruitful Christian.
While our command from Christ is to “love one another”, not everyone that we love can necessarily be in our lives. There are often people, often good people, that just are not necessarily good influences for us. There are those that come into our lives that encapsulate too much of our time or energy. Perhaps they often influence us with a negative attitude. Maybe they just are so self consumed with their own problems that they drain all of our energy and resources just picking them back up.
There are many examples of exactly this type of situation in the Bible. Paul and Barnabas were both very special ministers of God yet they had conflict together and excelled apart (Acts 15:36-39). Esau and Jacob were twins, yet were in constant struggle with each other and prospered when they moved apart (Genesis 25-33). Abraham and Lot were relatives, yet the time came when it was necessary for them to separate and move apart from one another (Genesis 13:6-7).
God’s desire is that we produce spiritual fruit (John 15). In order to produce fruit we need to have proper nourishment (The Word of God), we need to be near the Son (The Light of Jesus Christ), and we need to be pruned. Pruning is not only removing dead wood, it most often entails removing good growth. After all, God does not call us to be a beautiful leafy plant; rather He calls us to be fruitful. Becoming more fruitful often includes removing things from our lives that, though not sin, may be taking too much energy which should be redirected towards bearing fruit.
As a Pastor, I have found that I need to caution myself against this very thing. I have found that there will always be a few individuals that demand a majority of your time. They constantly call, stop by the office, need personal prayer, want a visit, etc. The concern is that there are some church members then that don’t get any time. This situation will then call for the Pastor to explain to the more demanding member that he cannot call them back everyday. He may have to require that members make an appointment rather than just stopping in the office. He may have to “retrain” them by delaying calling them back.
“This sounds mean”, you say? Many Pastors have burnt out, become frustrated, reacted poorly, or left the church because of an overly demanding member.
Sometimes, you need to distance yourself from individuals that are demanding too much time or energy. God has called us to be fruitful!
